THE MERTON SOCIETY
America's Oldest "Tea Drinking and Whisky" Speaking Society
Charles Bell, esq.
Other Scintillating Information:
Senior Thesis Topic: "The Inhibiting Effect of Wardrobe on Athletic Performance: An Empirical Study"
Comment Most Frequently Heard at Society Functions: "Who's your tailor, Homersex?"
Order of the Merton Cross
for the lecture, "The Proper Use of Galoshes for Protection and Pleasure," presented to the Society on May 1, 1975